It’s summer on the Prairies! With the sun rising early and staying out late these long summer days extend my time to think, read and write. To me, there is a lightness to summer and a time when I can comfortably sit in warm sunbeams and reflect.
This month I am thinking about the benefits of being a beginner.
At 41 years old I wrote my first book called Modern Day Courage. I call myself an accidental writer as I stumbled upon writing when I joined the Toastmasters International program in my late 30’s. I joined to improve my public speaking skills yet the writing component of the program blossomed for me.
Since writing my first book, I have been looking for ways to promote and become an “authorpreneur” and an advocate for mental health. With all these things I am truly beginning and learning. I am reminded, humbled, and invigorated by the fact that anyone can be a beginner at any time, regardless of age, sexual or gender identity, social status, or ethnicity.
I think about the powerful renewed energy and excitement that comes with starting something brand new. It has gotten me out of my comfort zone into growth mode.
Since I am starting something new – the only way is up! I found it helps to identify as a beginner. When I called numerous editors for a manuscript evaluation (as I learned it was called) I identified myself as such and confessed I had no idea what I was doing. I felt it opened doors to let other people use their expertise and were over-generous with their guidance as I had so many questions.
I remain open to being taught and to the “what if’s”, the “let’s try it this way” or “what about that way”. I cannot lean on what I have done in the past and cannot conform to a prescribed or known way (as this is my first book). There isn’t one right way! It may seem a circuitous route, but I find joy in this. Growing up my dad would drive the scenic route purposely on a road trip (ie. taking a longer country route vs. the direct highway route) – this allowed us to explore, experience and exposed us to something new.
Yes, being a beginner can be daunting. It may bring bouts of floundering and not really knowing where to start, feelings of not-good-enough, and the paralyzing fear of failure. I try to not be buried in the heaviness of not knowing. Coming from a place of curiosity where I can practice self-compassion and offer myself grace and leniency. Even with saying all the above – those feelings do still come –
When I started working on my website for my book I was working with my web designer to set up the website domain names. I felt so inadequate with technology and almost shut down; I felt steamrolled. These feelings of inadequacy and aspects of perfectionism; expecting myself to be all-knowing (which I know is ridiculous) these feelings are connected to shame and bring about
huge emotions within myself. It’s good to have honest cheerleaders in your life who you can call at the drop of a hat. I called someone who I trust to reflect back on how far I’ve come. I personally find it hard to gain perspective from myself – especially when emotions are triggered. I haven’t mastered my emotions yet either! (a beginner in this arena as well).
Yes, there is uncertainty in the process but certainty in the final product and outcome. I’ve learned it is okay to ask others for help. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness.
It’s wonderful to know that once I start – I won’t be a beginner forever…and knowing I can help others once I move away from the beginner phase is motivating me.
So now I am curious ~ what do you want to begin?